Changing spots because well, I wanted my own name... :)

Go here and see me

After not having a computer of my own for the last however many days, I'm back and online!!! :) YAY!

You all know you've been there... but did you actually watch the movie? It's amazing. Go watch it.

Here's the link

My friend, Courtney is doing another blog off. I don't know how many people still read my blog, but if you do, this one's going to be short and sweet. One week long, three posts. Read all about it....
here.


And there's even an option for those who just wanna donate. Help her out guys, it's for a good cause.

It's something that I haven't wanted to tell anyone about (other than Mr Meghann of course), but the time has come.

I, Meghann, am addicted to Harry Potter.


I know, I know... not me too. But I just couldn't help it. See, I have seen all the movies, and read the first few books, but after this last movie... I wanted to KNOW. I wanted to know what happened, and what I was missing. So I went out, bought the whole series (minus the last book of course) and I've been reading them (hence the lack of posting). And I'm on the last book. After starting to read them about two weeks ago.

They're really quite good. If you haven't read them, you should.

So uh, it's Friday. I thought today was Thursday, and it's not. So my last post is late. And unfortunately, I haven't even come up with something to post so it's not like I can post it now.

Bad Blogger. Bad, bad, bad Blogger. No cookie.

Go here and donate. Make up for my bad bloggieness (yes, that's a word).

And you might be asking yourself... what is a pregnant girl like Meghann doing up at almost one in the morning? Answer: simple. It's windy outside and I'm scared of the things that go bump in the night. How pathetic am I?

Seriously. I need to get a grip on my pathetic pregnant body.

Today, I cried for like an hour... for no reason. I was doing so well too. I hadn't really had any emotional breakdowns at all. Then, right after I said that (because I said that yesterday), I started crying. For no reason. Because my little baby Bun (that's what Mr Meghann calls it. Cute no?!) has no officially taken over my whole body. Emotions and all.

Oh, and no morning sickness... if only I could be so lucky. I was... until this morning. Ugh.

Not that I'm complaining... because I'm super excited. We got paint today so that we can start doing the nursery (what? I'm excited and I wanna do it before I can't walk anymore). But when there's a little baby taking over your body... you start to do things (and feel things, and say things, and write things) that you normally wouldn't do.

I really should get some sleep.

A normal, happy, life. That would be wonderful.

I'm going to bed. It's 7:30.... meh, I'm pregnant, that's my excuse.

Boobies, tah-tahs, juggs, melons, whatever you want to call them. That's right, we're writing about boobies. Isn't that what this whole blog off is all about? Saving the boobies?

I have big ones. I can admit it, and although I get really tired of being talked to at chest level... I kinda like them. I've had them forever, and really, they just keep getting bigger. Especially since I got knocked up.

I've seen many different sizes, and if I were a guy, I wouldn't want to date someone with big boobies. I mean for real, could you imagine making out with a chick and you go to grab her boob, and you get more than a handful?! No thank you. The smaller the better I always say.

Then I talk to girls who have small boobies, and they tell me that they are SOOOOOO jealous of my big ass juggs. I'm telling you, they're not so great. Back pain, the bras aren't cute, and seriously, guys can't make eye contact with me. I don't dare wear shirts with anything written across the breast area because I'll never get anyone to look me in the face.

So someday, I'm going to reduce them. That's right, you all can have 'em. Let's see.... $100.00 an inch. How about that? Until then, I'm going to go lay down and try to get rid of some back pain.






Okay, so as not serious as that prompt (or my post) was, breast cancer is a very serious thing. Please go donate if you can to Courtney's cause. It's very important to many people.

I just wanted a happy post on my blog. Instead of that awful dream I had. That's all! :)

Okay, so I really wasn't going to make this journal about being pregnant because I wasn't sure that anyone wanted to hear about it. But then I decided that it wasn't worth trying to make a whole new journal that I would just forget about in a few months anyway, so I am going to talk about my dreams. Deal.


I have been having the weirdest dreams the last few nights. Two nights ago, I dreamt that I turned Mr Meghann into a warewolf by biting him, and then we went around playing tag all night long. Strange, I know.

Last night, I had the second worst dream of my whole life (remind me to tell you about the crazy dream I had when I was seven).

As you all now know, I have done a lot of stupid shit in my past. One of the worst things that I have ever, ever done in my life, I did when I was 13. My mom was pissed at me for something that I didn't even do, we started yelling, and I started fighting.

The circumstances were different in my dream. My mother and I were cleaning a rich man's house together. I was trying to organize the cupboards and she was laughing at me. So I got up and beat the hell out of her (for which I am not proud). She kept laughing at me, which made me cry. A lot. So much that I woke up crying hysterically.

I felt so horrible. I couldn't stop. For those of you who don't know me all that well, I don't usually cry. It was so strange, the dream seemed sooo real to me. It was horrible.

I couldn't go back to sleep after that. I feel much better now though.

I have a new reader. Everyone, meet my friend Alex. Say hello Alex.

We'll see if he sticks around, but he just told me today that he read as far back in my LJ last night as he could.

I forgot what I posted about, but I'm sure it's embarassing. :)

"Every area of trouble gives out a ray of hope; and the one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable."
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy


Ah hope, it's something that I've carried around for a long, long time. Something that has gotten me through the darkest times in my life. The above quote is one that I have found to ring true through all aspects of my life, but I discovered it a few years too late.

I grew up in a very relaxed home. A bi-polar mother, a dad who really didn't know how to be there for me emotionally, and no brothers or sisters to look up to. No one to really guide me through life, a lot of what I have learned I had to learn on my own. And I was not pleasant to live with.

At sixteen my mother decided that I was too much to handle. She had tried everything, had lost all hope that she, alone, could take care of me. I was rebellious to say the least, and didn't want to be at home. I ran away several times, only to return in time to see the police officers leaving my house to look for me. So, my mother did what any mother would do in her situation... she called my father.

My father was living in a town 30 minutes away, and hadn't connected with me in a long, long time. He had three step-children that were not nearly as much of a handful as I was, and a wife that was very different than my mother. My step-mom laid down the law a few years before, and said that if I was going to continue to break the rules, I couldn't live there. My parents had no choice.

They signed over their parental rights to the state of Colorado. At sixteen years old, I became a ward of the state. Most kids would have hated being taken away from their parents like that.... but I will admit that it was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. I went through a lot in that group home, but the one thing that kept me strong was hope.

The hope that one day, I would be free. Free from all the drama, free from all the pain, free from everyone's rules but my own. Free from being a kid. I wanted more than anything to be an adult. The hope that one day, my life would change. I would be happy again, and be able to live my life the way I wanted to.

Hope is something that I keep in my heart. I hope for things every day. I hope that I will be a wonderful parent. I hope that my child doesn't have to go through all the horrible things that I went through. I hope that Mr Meghann will be able to handle being a dad. I hope that my child is healthy, and happy, forever and that I will be a contributing factor to that. Nothing is certain, but nothing is unchangeable either.





Ugh, another tough prompt from My Best Friend Courtney. But it's for a good cause. Go donate if you can. Please...

When I got this word for the blog-off, I asked Courtney for a new word. And although I was half kidding, I found it really hard to come up with a post for this word... so here it goes.

It was the scariest night of my life. One that I will never, ever forget. One that will live with me for the rest of my life. A night that I will remember every single moment and vividly.

I was sixteen, young and stupid, drinking all the time. Hanging out with people who were twice my age, and doing things that I'm not very proud of. I was at a party with a very good friend of mine. It was May, so it was still chilly at night. I remember the apartment that we were at, almost like I live there in my dreams. The smell still wafts into my brain every once in a while... watermelon pucker, 7up, and the smell of a fish tank that hadn't been cleaned in over a month.

All I could remember for the first six weeks after it happened were bits and pieces. Screaming, scratching, aching, and finally crying... it was like I couldn't put the pieces together. I would dream about horrible things happening to someone, not knowing if it was me or someone I was close to, and I would watch from across the room as he hurt her. Then that night came into complete focus one night. It was the most horrific dream I have ever had. I woke up in a cold sweat, crying, to the point of hyperventilating. But I was in a dark room, in a bunk bed, with another troubled teen in the room.

After that night, I remembered everything like it had just happened to me. I told no one the details. I couldn't. I was so ashamed, it was my fault for drinking with him, and letting him touch me at all. That feeling stayed with me well into my twenties. Seven years later, I found someone I could trust enough to share the details with. She comforted me, explained to me that no matter how long I harbored feelings of shame, discomfort, and fear that it would be okay. That I had survived. That I would be okay.

This year is the ten year anniversary of surviving that night. I have forgotten what it feels like to be ashamed, uncomfortable, and afraid. I feel grateful, lucky, and proud that I survived being raped at sixteen.












This weeks word was tough. Good luck to all the bloggers participating in the blog off.

Show some love, donate some money.

I got my first word, but I'm not ready yet, in the meantime... here's a list of all the peeps!!!

Amy from Pancake Batter
Carly from With a Turn and a Twist She Gets Her Wish
Cyndi from Write2B
Diane from Write On Track
EC from Whatever Blows My Skirt
Erin from Blaaahhg
Evette from Spaghetti Junction
Evey from The Adventures of Chris and Evey
H from Just Another Week
Jason from Washington Interns Gone Bad
Eternity from A World in A Grain of Sand
Kelly from The World of Munson
Lynn from Motivation Motion
ME from Waangel
Mommy the Maid from Mommy The Maid
Nathan from PhilosYphia
Patti from Perfect Patti
Shari from Open Up
Tara from When Tara Met Blog
Toni from Yellow and Orange
Vegas Princess from Life, Vegas! Style

And there you have it.... all 21 of us. That's right. 21. Pretty sweet huh?!

Go visit them, and leave comments and tell them what you think. And I'll have a post up with my word soon.... I promise.

Yay for the Blog Off!!!

In the meantime, my mother is coming.... on Tuesday... and I have a TON of stuff to get done. But being tired all the time isn't helping much....


Anyone want to come over and clean my house while I take a nap??? :)

I'm taking a break from the computer I think... I get lonely.

So until the blog off (which I hope I don't miss the first entry for... wouldn't that suck?!), I will be not online.


Bye everyone!!! :)

Okay, so for those small amount of people who read my blog... there's something that I need you to do for me.... if you want. No pressure, but it's going to be fun.

See, I have this friend who is doing a blog off for breast cancer. It's the second time that she's doing it, it's for a great cause, and all you have to do is write a little and read a little and vote. Here, I'll let her explain it:

"Like this time, the entry fee will be $10 in US funds paid via PayPal. Again, like this current one, half of the money collected will be the grand prize to the big winner and the remaining half will be donated towards the fight against breast cancer. In this updated version of the contest, it will only for four weeks. There will be four posts, one for each week in July, due on Thursdays by midnight PST. The words that you'll be blogging on will be selected randomly by myself and you'll get the word just two days in advance, via email, on Tuesdays. As with this last go 'round, all the voting will be done by the you, the contestants. Once all the posts are up, you will select your top three and send those votes to me by email. Great news! This time there will be virtually no eliminations... The only way you will be eliminated is if you fail to get your post up on time. When your votes come in (and they'll be due each Tuesday by midnight), your favorites will be awarded point values. Your all-time favorite post will be given 15 points, your second is given 10 points and the post you selected as third would be given 5 points. The blogger with the highest cumulative score at the end wins and their winnings will be sent to the them the same way the entry fee was collected- by PayPal. Voting is going to be vital in this second version so the penalty for not voting will be hefty. If you do not send me your top three selections, you will receive a 15 point penalty."

Sound like fun?!?! Just go to her blog which is here and tell her that you want to participate. I'm doin it. So you should too! :)

Thank you for all the congratulations and kind words. You have no idea how cool it is to know that people out there in bloggerland are happy for us.